The Key To A Successful Marriage

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Happy Thursday!

I got some good advice this weekend from a family member and I thought that I’d take a quick second to share it with you:

The key to a successful marriage is communication.

This seems simple and I’ve heard it many times before from other people but it really stuck with me when my cousin said it.

We were talking about marriage and the difficulties that sometimes arise. My husband, Brett, works pretty strange hours because he works in event management. He has to work any night or weekend event that he is in charge of. Because of his job we don’t get to spend a ton of time together and he misses most family events.

I work a normal 8-5 Monday-Friday job which means that Brett and I really don’t see each other a lot during the week. It’s hard to communicate besides a series of text messages that are exchanged throughout the day. But no matter what we do communicate with each other. I always know what’s going on with him, if he’s having a  good day or bad day, and what his hours for that day are.

Communication is the lifeline that holds us together. We may not be together but he at least knows that I care and am interested in what’s going on in his life.

While it is important to have the regular day to day communication it is equally important to communicate about any challenges and goals for the future. We are always talking about our short and long term goals.

We have only been married for a year (on August 19th!) but I can already tell that communication can make or break a relationship. I never want to get to the point where Brett is no longer my best friend.

What do you think is the key to a successful relationship?

Thanks for reading!

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Help Us Plan Our Trip To Rome!

Visiting Rome, Italy
Hey friends!

Brett and I are trying to plan a trip to Rome for this upcoming October! Neither of us have been and it is #1 on our bucket list.

I visited Venice for one day in 2011 and fell in love with the Italian culture but did not have enough time to truly explore. I have been wanting to visit Rome since 2003 when the Lizzie McGuire Movie first premiered.

Since we have never been to Rome we are in dire need of suggestions. Where to stay, eat, visit, etc.? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Our current plan is to visit all of the touristy places – Coliseum, Vatican, Trevi Fountain, etc. But we would love to know what else we should see!

Thanks! 🙂

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Migraine Update: Decision Time & Leaving my Neurologist

Chronic Headaches and Migraine
Hey, friends!

I finally had a Neurologist appointment last week after being discharged from PT almost a month ago. I thought about writing this after my appointment but I just felt so discouraged that I cried in my car before forcing myself back to work.

Basically, my Neurologist didn’t even read my discharge papers and wanted to put me back on the same medicine I was on before. I put my foot down and told him no because I was on it for YEARS with very minimal results. He was in such a hurry to move onto his next appointment that he didn’t even listen to what I was saying. He prescribed an anti-seizure medication that is crazy expensive.

I am managing just fine right now without any medication. I still have a headache every single day and migraines a few times a month. I really want to try out acupuncture or a chiropractor before trying the prescribed medicine.

I think I have made a big decision though. I don’t want to see this Neurologist anymore. I don’t know if this means seeing another Neurologist or finding a headache specialist somewhere else. All I know is that I can’t justify spending $200 per visit to talk to a brick wall anymore.

My old physical therapist called me on Friday to recommend a book called Grain Brian which apparently goes into how gluten and sugar work with our brains. I ordered it on Amazon and am looking forward to reading it. I really do not want to give up Gluten though.

I want to spend some more time researching before I decide what my next steps should be. Here’s the list of what I am researching:

  • Acupuncture
  • Chiropractor
  • Elimination diet (gluten, dairy, etc)
  • Botox

Things I’ve already tried:

  • Massage Therapy (will do again)
  • Physical Therapy
  • Preventative/Abortive Medications
  • OTC Medications
  • Basic elimination diet (cheese, red wine, etc)
  • Trigger Identification

For now I am just taking it one day at a time and trying to remain positive 🙂 I think things will be much better once I ditch my current Neurologist and find someone who will actually listen and try to help me.

As always, thanks so much for all your support and feedback! I have loved reading your suggestions and have a running list of things to try based on blog comments.

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What Fourth of July Means to Me

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Happy Fourth of July!

Today is one of Brett’s favorite days of the year and I always try to share his excitement! Our 4th always consists of spending the day at an Air Show and celebrating all of the men and women who fought or are currently fighting for our country!

I always think of both of Brett’s Grandpas on this day. His Grandpa Charlie died before we started dating but was an incredibly hardworking man. But his Grandpa Ed (Red) lives in Florida and I have got to know him well through the years.

When Brett’s Grandma passed away in December we spent a lot of time with his Grandpa. Ed pulled out his scrapbook that he created from his days in the Army and shared many stories about his experiences during World War II. It was heartbreaking to see how badly these memories still hurt him. He was injured and earned a Purple Heart which is a huge honor! I am proud to call him “Grandpa” and will make sure to pass along his stories to our future children.

It hurts me to watch him suffering from the loss of his wife and an injury that still he suffered during World War II. He lives alone now in his nineties while his whole family is in Michigan. The VA has done very little to help him while he risked his life for years for this country.

The Fourth of July means so much more than fireworks and barbeques. It’s a day to remember all of those people who represented our great country and fought for our freedom. All of the people who still suffer from the memories and heartbreak of war.

I am proud to live in the United States but I realize that it took a lot of suffering from others in order for us to enjoy this freedom. Today we should celebrate America and all of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

Thanks for reading and Happy Fourth!

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2018: Third Quarter Goals

2018 Third Quarter Goals

Goooood morning and Happy Monday!

I can’t believe that we are already half way through 2018! This year is going by so quickly and now that summer is here I would really like time to slow down a bit 🙂

You may be wondering why I do quarter goals instead of monthly or annual goals if you haven’t read my first and second goal posts. I really like to give myself extra time to complete goals so monthly goals are out of the question. However, a year is too much time to concentrate on my goals so splitting them into four parts makes them more manageable!

The second quarter of 2018 proved to be a very trying time for me. I learned a lot but I am happy to leave the events in the past. I’m ready to have a fresh start in third quarter!

  1. Finish unpacking. Yes, we moved in March and yes, we still have a few boxes to unpack. I’d love to go into fourth quarter with an unpacked house with fully built furniture. Moving is hard and I feel like we will never run out of things to do but we are loving being homeowners!
  2. Teach Oscar some basic commands. Oscar can already sit pretty well and is on his way to being fully potty trained. I would love to focus on his leash walking skills, stay, shake, and getting him to fully recognize his name.
  3. Create some work-life balance. Ugh, this is so hard for me but I really need to learn to put myself first! I have been so stressed at work and it’s not good for me or my co-workers. I have been trying to leave on time, take lunches, and get up from my desk instead of being locked up all day.
  4. Finish up all of our remaining wedding items. This includes picking up our wedding video from the videographer, writing vender reviews, finishing our wedding album, writing some wedding related blog posts, and thanking the many people who helped make our day special again.
  5. Go on a date with Brett. I can’t remember the last time Brett and I truly went on a date just the two of us. I would love to see a movie, go to dinner, or grab ice cream and just chat. We have both been so busy and I honestly miss him! Some nights we have to stay up late talking because we haven’t been able to spend any time together and we have a lot to catch up on.
  6. Start planning our next adventure. I miss traveling and I am longing to get out of the country for a bit. Our honeymoon in London was SO fun and I constantly think about it. Brett and I have so much fun traveling together and right now he works for an airline so we fly stand-by for free. We need to take advantage of these benefits and get away!

These are just a few of the things that I am hoping to accomplish over the next couple of months! I know 2018 will be over before we know it so it’s time to really kick my booty into gear!

Thanks for reading!

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

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Mystery Blogger Award

Mystery Blogger Award, Lifestyle Blogger

Hello and Happy Thursday!

First of all, I wanted to say a huge thank you for all of the love I received on my last Migraine Update post. I so appreciate all of the love and support during this challenging time!

I was nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award back in May by the wonderful Jess from Jess of Earth! I am so grateful to Jess for the nomination and have been loving reading all of the other nominees posts.

According to the award, the Mystery Blogger Award is “an award for amazing bloggers with indigenous posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.”

Here are the rules:

  • Thank whoever nominated you and include a link to their blog
  • Tell your readers three things about yourself
  • Nominate bloggers you feel deserve the award
  • Answer the questions from the person who nominated you
  • Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice, with one weird or funny one
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog

Three Facts About Me:

  1. I am really shy when I first meet someone and it takes me a long time to get comfortable. But when I do get comfortable I’m actually pretty sassy and funny!
  2. Coke Slushies are my favorite drink ever! I have made a list of the best and worst places around me to buy them.
  3. I am a huge Harry Potter fan. I love re-reading the books, watching the movies, and talking about the characters/plot as often as I can! Ginny Weasley is my favorite character!

The Questions from Jess:

  1. If your life was a book, what would this chapter be called?
    • This chapter of my life book would be called “Taking Back My Life.” I’m starting to fight for what I want and put myself first which I have never done before.
  2. What is your favorite form of self-care?
    • I have only recently started my self-care journey. I had my first massage last Friday and loved it!
  3. What is your go-to feel good song?
    • My go-to feel good song is Waiting by Green Day. GD has been my favorite band since I was in the fifth grade and this particular song never fails to bring a smile to my face! It also reminds me of the moments directly after saying “I Do” at our wedding because it was our recessional song!
  4. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
    • The best piece of advice I ever received was to do one thing that scares me every day. When I was in high school I had really bad anxiety and it was stopping me from doing so many things that I wanted to do. Somewhere along the line I decided to face my fears and I’m so glad that I did. If I was still letting anxiety and fear rule over me 99% of them time I would have never studied abroad, climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or gone down into the Catacombs of Paris. Today my life is way less exciting but I still push myself outside of my comfort zone by joining process improvement projects at work and studying for the CFA introduction classes.
  5. If there were no limitations, what would be your dream job?
    • If I didn’t have bills or responsibilities I would love to be a travel blogger. I am dying for another adventure! I would also love to write and publish a children’s book!

My Nominees:

My Questions:

  1. What’s the #1 destination on your travel bucketlist?
  2. What has been your greatest accomplishment?
  3. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
  4. What has been your favorite blog post to write? Why?
  5. What is your favorite quote?

Thanks again to Jess for the nomination!

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Migraine Update: Discharged From PT

physical therapy, migraine awareness month, chronic migraine headaches, treatme

Hey, friends!

I took a sick day today for a migraine and slept on and off all morning and afternoon. If you read my Migraine Story you know that my Neurologist recommended physical therapy and weaned me off of the preventative medicine that I’ve been on for years.

Well, my headaches have been terrible since weaning off of my medicine. I have had to take ibuprofen four times per day in order to dull the pain enough to go to work. My long-term goal is to not need to take any pain medication unless I have a migraine because it’s extremely bad for my body.

So I’ve had this migraine for about four days now and haven’t taken any medication in 30 ish hours. The reason I’m not taking anything for my migraine is because I know that I’m having rebound headaches which are caused by overusing medication. I need to get to the root problem which means stopping any rebound headaches.

Today was also a scheduled physical therapy day for me which I did not want to cancel. I went to PT expecting to do the stretches I have been practicing and maybe learning some new ones. My physical therapist is awesome but she knew that our appointments were not helping me reach my goal of being pain-free.

I didn’t expect to be discharged today. I didn’t expect to cry over being discharged. I didn’t expect to feel a wave of hopelessness when she told me that she didn’t think she could help.

I did feel like she heard me and believed me. I felt like she wanted to help me find an answer. She empowered me to not take “no” for an answer from my neurologist and doctors.

She will be sending a note over to my neurologist with her treatment recommendations which include a pain clinic or headache institute in either Ann Arbor or Chicago. I am doing my research and will talk to my family and doctors about the next steps. I’m sad that another door has been closed but I am hopeful that another will open very soon. My physical therapist reminded me that on the outside I look healthy but I need to remind people that I’m still suffering.

I did take away one important thing from physical therapy that I wanted to share with everyone. I know that I am extremly lucky to not have a brain tumor or a terminal disaese. But just because I can’t be “diganosed” doesn’t mean that I’m not still fighting for my life. Every day I am fighting for a quality of life that doesn’t involve constant pain, sleepless nights, and bottles of medication. I am fighting for a life where Brett and I can start a family which is currenly not an option. I am fighting to travel and spend a day at the lake with my family like a normal twenty-something.

I’m not asking for a miracle. I’m just asking to feel okay again.

June is migraine awarness month. Hopefully me sharing my story can help others who are suffering the same fate that I am. I’m not alone in this and I won’t stop fighting for myself and everyone else who is impacted.

I’ve ordered some books and will be spending the next few weeks researching my next steps. Let me know if you like these updates and want to stay informed on my treatment options!

Thanks so much for reading!

 
Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 
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