Hey guys,
I’m back with another post. This may be the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write but as you can tell from the title….
I’ve gained weight.
That one sentence makes me want to crawl back in bed and not come out for a very long time. I have a very negative relationship with food and weight that makes this topic hard for me to discuss.
The truth is that I am at the highest weight I have ever been. My clothes don’t fit, my skin is stretched out and uncomfortable, and I feel sluggish all the time. I have started my “weight loss journey” at least three times over the past 6 months but it’s hard and I quit because I don’t see any results. The number on the scale just keep growing and growing so I have stopped looking all together.
I can remember a time when stepping on the scale was the highlight of my day. The numbers kept dropping and I was so proud of myself. I thought being in the double digits would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. Luckily for me, I never quite made it to that extreme.
It’s been several years since I was at my lowest weight. I don’t remember consciously making the decision to lose weight all of those years ago. I was just anxious and didn’t ever feel hungry. I started college and gained the typical “freshman 15” which put me back at a healthy weight.
Over the years I have gained and lost weight. When I studied abroad in London I gained about 20 pounds which I was able to lose easily when I came home. I stayed at pretty much the same weight until I got married. I went a bit crazy during the honeymoon and ate whatever I wanted. Since coming back in early September I continued to eat anything and everything. It felt great not having to think about fitting myself into my wedding dress.
I did not realize how big I had gotten until my clothes stopped fitting me all together. When I look in the mirror I can see that I’ve gained weight but I had no idea how much I had actually gained. I went to the doctor and saw the number on the scale and had a small panic moment. I could not believe that this was my reality.
Now I can’t seem to lose the weight. I eat healthy and work out but the numbers on the scale keep getting bigger. I’m not sure if there’s a reason, like hormones or medication, or if I need to try something different. I usually shed a few pounds each summer because my activity level goes up and I eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.
This post isn’t about telling you that I have started some crazy new healthy lifestyle. In fact, I am still trying to find the best diet and workout routine that will work for me and my body.
I really just wanted to share my story as someone who has a negative relationship with food. I am trying my best to lose weight in a healthy way and stop any crash dieting that can be harmful to my body. I know that this journey will take some time and I want to do what is best for me, both physically and mentally.
Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for having a healthy lifestyle! And as always, thanks so much for reading!
Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash
Life of Hayley 
It’s not about the weight, it’s about you. Life isn’t supposed to be lived restricting ourselves from doing what we want to do. If you ate, ate and ate, that’s what you want to do. You can simply continue the same habit and just replace what you eat with more healthier choices. And gaining weight is not that big of an issue. Sometimes your stress about having gained or lost the weight is what causes the numbers to rise or drop. Mindset matters a lot. Stop trying to lose weight and focus more on being healthy. Being healthy isn’t about numbers, it’s about lifestyle choices.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂 I try to keep my blog as open and honest as I can and this is how I am honestly feeling. I am sure stress has played a huge part into my weight gain. Thanks for reading!
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Keep sharing! ❤
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I will, thanks! 🙂
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Thanks for being so vulnerable and honest with your readers. We’ve all been where you are and that’s the truth. Keep your head up and try to find a plan that makes you your happiest/healthiest.💗 —https://emilyryannblogblog.wordpress.com/
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Thanks so much, Emily! I try to keep my blog open and honest at all times. I know it’ll get better 🙂 Being vulnerable is hard but I am hoping that my story will help someone else going through the same thing to know that they are not alone.
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As an eating disorder survivor, I applaud you for stopping lookin at the scale! I actually even have myself weighed backward at the doctor because I know that panicky feeling when you see that number. Keep being active, get those fruits and veggies, and shoot for a gallon of water a day. Don’t think about the “don’ts” and “can’ts,” like, “I can’t have carbs,” or, “I don’t need to eat _____.” Think instead about what’s going to make your body feel good in the long run. Whether that’s going for a walk a few times a week or cutting up a bunch of fruits and veggies so you’re more likely to reach for them instead of passing them up because they’re not as convenient. Best wishes and no matter what, just keep going!
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Thank you, thank you!! Looking at the scale is so hard for me too and I feel so much panic before and after. But it’s almost worse for me not to see the number because I just assume the worst. A big part of my healing was learning that the number on the scale does not define me in any way. Thank you for the advice and conversation! It’s SO good to know that I am not alone in this battle. I hope all goes well with you on your journey as well!
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I appreciate your vulnerability. Many women can identify with this experience, myself included. I’ve learned over the years through personal and career experience, that there is no one-size-fits-all perfect plan. If we shift our mindset to wellness over weight loss, it’s amazing how things fall into place. Weight loss is a short term goal while wellness is a long term strategy. Find balance in all aspects of your health….sleep, nutrition, mindfulness, movement….and your body will thank you for it. Happy to help you on your journey. Start by focusing on the nutrient density of your foods instead of calories and integrating movement into your day rather than exercising. Sleep is key, at least 8 hours and no eating within 3 hours of bedtime. Keep it simple and keep moving forward:)
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Thank you so much! I love the idea of wellness over weight loss and will work on switching my mindset. I think that will make a huge difference for me. I’ve always focused on short term goals and as I get older I know I need to focus on the longer term goals that will help me in the long run 🙂
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Awesome!
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I’ve battled weight for what feels like my entire life. Take it one day at a time. Don’t focus on the number on the scale, or the scale at all. Plan to step on it just once a week instead of every day. When you are feeling stress or anxiety and find yourself reaching for something unhealthy; go for a walk, do some lunges, do some stretches, meditate, or find something just for yourself that can shift your focus. I have started to keep cucumber slices, celery sticks, portioned peanut butter, deviled eggs, 100 calorie pretzels packs, and hummus ready for snacks. I use the peanut butter with the celery, the pretzels with the hummus, and I usually have a deviled egg with cucumber slices. Im getting a healthy snack and protein to keep my metabolism and energy up. Good luck…
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Thank you so much for the great advice! I love the idea of having healthy snacks ready. I think snacking is one of the areas where I struggle to most. I wish you all the best on your health journey as well 🙂 Here’s to taking it one day at a time!!
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