Category: Marriage & Relationships

Our 10 Year Anniversary

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I remember the day I first starting talking to Brett like it was just yesterday. I was at my friend’s house after a marching band rehearsal when another friend said she wanted to introduce me to a guy she knew. She gave him my number and we talked constantly for days before meeting for our first date. I’m sure people thought I was crazy at the time but here we are a decade later.

I was 17 when we first started dating and was so immature even though I thought I had it all figured out. I wanted a partner who I could have a life with. I wanted someone to put me first and to be there when I needed someone. Brett became one of the most stable people in my life. He introduced me to his family and friends, came to my band concerts, and took me on so many dates. Looking back now on all of our highs and lows I’m proud of us and how far we have come.

This past year has probably been one of the hardest for us. We work different schedules and don’t get to spend much time together which is really hard for me. I miss eating dinner with him, going for walks, and watching tv together. I miss telling him goodnight before I go to bed. I hate sleeping alone and hate kissing his head goodbye in the morning because I don’t want to wake him up after he gets home from work late.

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We’ve had another big challenge this year that hit us pretty hard and we’ve had to work together to figure out our next steps. We had big plans this year and started to lose hope that we’d ever reach our goals. We’ve blamed each other when it’s no ones fault, we’ve had to pick each other up when one of us loses faith, and we’ve had to become even stronger in our relationship to make it through all of these challenges.

10 years is a very long time to be with someone. Brett has loved me on some of the hardest days of my life and has never given up on me. This year he has held me while I’ve fallen apart and then picked me up and put me back together again. He does this not because I’m not strong enough to put myself together alone, but because he cares about me and takes care of me when I need it.

Our marriage isn’t perfect but four years ago we vowed to never give up on each other. I can’t wait to see what the next 10 years bring!

Also, since I know this is super confusing, Brett and I started dating on August 19th, 2011 and got married on August 19th, 2017. So today marks our 4th year of marriage but our 10th year together. I’m pretty happy our anniversary dates ended up like this because it’s easy to remember and celebrate both!

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2021 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month

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June is National Migraine & Headache Awareness month. I’ve been pretty quiet this year in regards to advocating and sharing my experience but I didn’t want the month to pass without me mentioning anything. You can read my story about my migraine and headache experience here for background.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve had with having chronic migraine is suffering in silence. I look pretty normal from the outside so having an invisible illness is hard to explain and advocate for. It’s been even harder now that I’ve entered corporate America and I feel like it’s a major roadblock for my career. My team is super understanding but I hate talking about it and feel bad that I have different needs than the rest of the team.

I try to advocate and raise awareness for those suffering in silence or with invisible illnesses as often as possible but June is always a good reminder to say something. The migraine community is greater than I imagined it would be. I never knew that there were so many resources available and I was even able to find a new Neurologist because of these resources. If you are suffering in silence, please know that you are not alone and there may be resources available to help you too!

I’ve tried many different medications and treatments but over the past 15 months I’ve focused on my health and prioritized putting myself first. This was only possible because I was working from home. I never imagined that what would help me the most was simply being at home in a controlled environment.

I’ve learned a lot about migraine and headaches over the past few years and finally feel like I’m in a better place. With the U.S. opening back up after the pandemic I just hope that I’m able to stay in a good place. I don’t know how I’ll feel going back into the office but I hope it doesn’t ruin 15 months of actual progress.

Photo by Carolina Heza on Unsplash

Best Laid Plans

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I’ve always had plans.

I wanted to graduate from college in four years, get a job, get married, buy a house, adopt a dog, and have a baby or two.

Life has a way of reminding you that you can’t control it. You can’t plan for what’s going to happen no matter how hard you try or how badly you want it. Even though I’m a planner I know that life isn’t going to go according to plan and my best laid plans will be thrown back in my face.

Even though I can’t control life making these plans still makes me feel like I have some control. When I feel anxious I make a list. Writing down the thoughts that are racing through my head helps me to feel like I’m in control. That’s how I feel about life too. I can’t control it but making these plans and lists makes me feel like I have a bit of control over the situation.

Right now I’m in a phase of my life where I am constantly reminded that I’m not in control. I have to have faith that there’s a plan for me that’s greater than the one I am wanting. I have to be patient and know that my time is coming.

I had a carefully laid plan for this year. I still have hope that it will be a good year it just won’t be what I had planned and that’s okay too.

Are you a planner? Are you usually able to stick to the plans that you make?

Photo by That’s Her Business on Unsplash

A Beer Review From a Non-Beer Drinker

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My husband, Brett, has a blog and a YouTube where he talks about a variety of things like weather, air shows, roller coasters, and beer. His YouTube is mostly beer reviews but we’ve had a lot of fun coming up with ideas and setting up a little studio in our house for him to film. The studio is still a work in progress. We went to Ikea a couple of weeks ago and now I’m working on getting things setup. I’m excited for him to have a space to film soon!

A few weeks ago we had nothing to do so I joined his for a review video. I’m usually behind the camera and I don’t like beer so this was new for me. Check out the video if you want to see my awkward faces and to see our super cute dachshund-mix, Oscar!

I love supporting Brett on this little adventure of his. He has the personality to be a good YouTuber in my opinion.

Do you like beer? Do you watch YouTube? What kind of videos do you like?

Feel free to subscribe to Brett’s channel. We filmed a video at Ikea that will be up soon too!

Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary

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August 19, 2011 was the day that Brett and I went on our very first date. We went mini golfing and then sat in my car and talked for hours. The rest of the summer we were inseparable. Brett was 19 and I was 17.

On May 30, 2015 Brett proposed in London, England on the very last day of my study abroad adventure.

August 19, 2017 was a day that I will always remember. We planned our wedding for over two years and it was finally time to marry my best friend. We had both graduated from college, gotten jobs, and moved into an apartment. It was time to start the next chapter of our lives together.

In my wedding vows I said that Brett “came into my life at a time when I really needed a friend” and that’s the honest truth. I was so lost when I met Brett and he helped me find myself again. Obviously, I didn’t need a boyfriend to figure out who I was but it was nice to have someone to help encourage me.

Over our three years of marriage and nine total years together we have had so many adventures. We’ve visited seven countries and taken countless road-trips. We have adopted a dog and bought a house. We’ve lived together, apart, and long-distance. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been completely worth it.

Happy Anniversary, Bretten! Here’s to many, many more to come!

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Marriage in Quarantine

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One thing I quickly realized because of quarantine was that my marriage was far from perfect.

Every relationship has it’s problems. You can’t have a relationship without fights and disagreements because each person has their own ideas that make them an individual thinker.

I realized that my marriage wasn’t perfect because I didn’t feel like I had enough one on one time with my husband. I didn’t feel loved or appreciated because I wasn’t spending enough time with him. I guess it can be considered a good problem because after all these years all I wanted was to spend some time with him. I craved an at home date night consisting of dinner and a movie. Nothing complicated or expensive.

Being asked to stay home has been a blessing because I’ve been able to spend so much time with Brett that we normally don’t get to have together. I realized how much I missed him even though I see him everyday.

Brett has a million hobbies which means that he is always on the go. I travel with him some of the time but it’s too overwhelming for me to go to every single airshow and amusement park especially when I have migraines. This has forced him to slow down and stay home with me.

We still aren’t perfect but I’m so much happier. I know once our stay at home order is lifted Brett will be right back to traveling but I hope this time has shown him how important our time together is too.

How are your relationships holding up?

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Meet My Husband & His Blog

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Over the past 6+ years I have mentioned Brett a million times but have never really introduced him. Brett and I have been together since 2011 so he’s been part of this blog since the very beginning and was my original fan and supporter.

Recently Brett decided to launch his own blog, Universe of Adventure, so I thought it would be fun to do a little Q&A with him. It’s still a work in progress but I know he’s worked really hard on it and it’s been a fun project for us to work on during quarantine.

I came up with some random questions to ask Brett and I thought I’d share his answers.

  1. How did we meet?
    “We met through a mutual friend that I did theater with. We started texting and went on our first date a couple weeks later.”
  2. What is your blog about?
    “My blog is about all of my interests. I chose the name Universe of Adventures because a universe can be broken up into different worlds. I will be blogging about beer, travel, amusement parks, weather, aviation, and sports.”
  3. Would you describe yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?
    “100% an extrovert but I sometimes have introverted tendencies.”
  4. What is your dream vacation?
    “I would have to say Prague for the beer and the history.”
  5. What’s your favorite blog post that I have written?
    “Probably all the posts about the trips we have taken. All the way back to 2014 when we would visit my grandparents in Florida.”
  6. What was your major in college?
    “I was a double major in Aviation Science and Administration and Geography with a focus in Economic and Regional Geography.”
  7. What is your favorite part about being married?
    “Ummm…..having someone to share everything with and to create memories with.”
  8. What are 3 words that describe you?
    “Interesting, fun, and smart.”
  9. What’s the first thing you want to do after quarantine?
    “Travel but I might not be able to do that right away. So I want to just be able to leave the house and go to a bar or a restaurant. That would be really nice.”
  10. Where’s your favorite place that you have traveled to?
    “This is hard for me to choose because there are so many good places. If I had to narrow it down to my top 3 I’d say Florida, England, and Italy.”
  11. If we started a band, what would our band name be?
    *thinks hard and giggles to himself* “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
  12. What’s your motto in life?
    “Take your life seriously but don’t forget to enjoy it. It’s okay to have fun.”

I hope you enjoyed meeting Brett! We had fun working on this post so let us know if you have any questions you’d like us to answer together!

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Love in the Time of Quarantine

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A few years ago my family lost someone very important to them unexpectantly. The loss came out of nowhere and we carried our grief for a long time. I had so many regrets swirling around inside of me about what I wish I would have said to this person. How I wished that they knew that I cared about them and believed in them. But it was too late and I couldn’t say any of those things.

From this loss I learned a really important lesson. Always say how you feel and always say “I love you”.

Brett and I have been together for almost nine years, married for almost three. He’s my person but sometimes he’s also the person who annoys me most in the world. Our marriage isn’t perfect but I learned the hard way to always, always say “I love you.”

Every morning when I leave for work I make sure it’s the last thing I say to him. That’s how we end every single phone call. He texts me that he’s leaving work and I text right back “Drive safe. I love you!” Those are the last words I hear before falling asleep every night. Even if we are mad at each other we always make sure to say “I love you” and mean it.

My family has always been very loving. Every phone call with my mom or my sister ends with “I luhhhh you, boo boo”. There will never be a question on if we loved each other or not.

In these scary times I think it is especially important to let people know how you feel about them. I am very aware of this and try not to take any day together or conversation for granted. We might not be able to leave our homes right now but we can still call, text, or facetime our loved ones and check in on them.

Have you told someone that you loved them today?

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Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Daily Conversations for a Healthy Marriage

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Marriage is hard. Ask any couple who have been married for longer than a couple of months and they will tell you that’s it’s not sunshine and rainbows all the time. Your spouse is supposed be there for all of the highs and lows of your life so it’s not always pretty.

I’ve been married for a little over two years now but have been with my husband for eight years. We have had many great moments but have also had many struggles. There have been a few times where I’ve wanted to give up and walk away but at the end of the day Brett is my best friend and my person. He might upset me from time to time but there’s still no one else I’d rather do life with.

We had our first major fight a couple of weeks ago where I didn’t even want him to sleep in our room. One of my friends gave us the advice when we got married to never go to bed angry and I’ve stuck with that until this fight. I was so upset over something that was actually silly. I didn’t sleep that night even though I did end up letting Brett sleep in our bed. I woke up the next day and was really grumpy over my lack of sleep.

After that night I knew that something had to change. Brett and I don’t spend a ton of time together because he’s always busy with work or hanging out with his friends. We don’t have scheduled date nights and mostly communicate through text or when we talk before bed.

Throughout the day Brett tells me all about his day. I know what happened at work, what’s going on with his family, and what’s happening in his friend group. I tend to only share the big or interesting things so he doesn’t get to hear about a lot of my normal day to day activities.

Communication in a marriage is so important but ours was seriously lacking. I thought back to summer camp where we played the “roses and thorns” or “highs and lows” game. All we did at camp was go around the room and say the greatest moment (rose/high) and the worst moment (thorn/low) of our day. I thought this game would be perfect to play everyday with Brett.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve asked Brett every night before bed what his high and low for the day was. He usually answers that his low was going to work and his high was hanging out with friends, watching a weather documentary, etc. At first he never asked me the questions back but I’d answer anyway. Now it’s a habit and I look forward to what he has to say because his answers have evolved and have become more thoughtful. It’s a simple conversation that only lasts a couple of minutes but it really makes a difference in our marriage.

Communication is one of the keys for any successful marriage or relationship. Over the years communicating with Brett has become harder so I’m grateful that we have this new way to share things about our day.

Do you have any tips for communicating with your significant other?

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