Stop Telling Me To “Toughen Up”

I was recently told that I needed to “toughen up” which is all fine and dandy but that’s just not who I am. I am sensitive, empathetic, and emotional. I care deeply and I want to put my best foot forward each and everyday. I will never be tough and that’s okay.

Instead of trying to cram myself into a box with other people’s expectations I’ve decided to spend some more time exploring who I am as a person. I’ve been feeling really down and unmotivated lately so I want to find something that makes me feel alive again.

My whole life I have felt like something was wrong with me because I’m sensitive. This is who I am and I can’t change it. I’ve tried to toughen up for years by taking anti-depressants and seeing therapists but I can’t change my personality.

I used to wish that I could turn all of my feelings off. I wanted to have no emotions at all. I want to stop feeling this way. I want to just be okay with who I am.

This world will always be too harsh for me but I’m willing to continue to fight for my place in it.

Have you ever been told to “toughen up”?

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

It’s Okay to be an Introvert

It's Okay To Be An Introvert

 

Hello, again!

Last week I went to a training class for work and it got me thinking a lot about different personality styles. Where I work, most people seem to be¬†extroverted. They all like gathering and socializing with each other. I, on the other hand, am an introvert so many times I feel like an outsider because I don’t always like to socialize. I find that talking sometimes drains my energy and makes me feel really tired.

I tried to explain this to a family member once and she basically told me to suck it up and made me feel like it’s not okay to be like this. For a long time I really beat myself up over it. I hated being the shy girl and feeling like an outcast all the time. I just wanted to make friends and be like everyone else. But as I have grown older I have realized that I cannot change the way I am. I just have to embrace my differences and communicate them to my co-workers and family members.

It’s almost been a year since I have been hired and I think people are finally starting to get it. I now have work friends and they have just come to understand that sometimes I do need my alone time to re-energize and re-group. I’m not being anti-social I just have different needs than they do.

I still remember my first day of work. I started my day with walking around the whole company and meeting the 100+ employees. We chatted and exchanged names and job roles. It was really nice to meet everyone and I am so glad I got to do it but the second I got home I went straight to bed. I was exhausted!

I know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I met another introvert at training and we talked about how hard it is to be this way in the corporate world. But we also talked about all of the amazing things too. I feel like I really understand how others are feeling, I am able to watch their emotions and put myself in their shoes. I just have time to really focus on others even though I seem stuck inside my own head.

I do understand that it is not always easy to be an extrovert either. All I am saying, is that sometimes this world makes it seem like it’s a bad thing to be an introvert. Like there is something wrong with you, but I have learned that it is¬†okay. It’s okay to be an introvert. It’s okay to need alone time or to just want to sit and watch other people socialize. I can easily gain and lose energy from those around me so I am very careful with who I surround myself with.

I hope this helps you understand yourself a bit better or maybe someone that you know. Just remember, it may seem like someone is shy and “anti-social” but maybe they are really just more introverted than you are. It’s okay to not try to change who you are to fit a certain mold. Try to look at someone and really figure what makes them tick. It’s really insightful to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

I’m thinking about doing a post on tips for surviving the corporate world. Let me know if that sounds even remotely interesting and thanks again for reading!

 

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Image via Unsplash.