Life Is Good!

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I feel like I’ve been gone from the blogging world forever but in reality it’s only been a couple of weeks. I thought I would pop in to say that I’ve been busy living my life and have been neglecting blogging for great reasons!

In the past two weeks I’ve traveled to Illinois, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Maine. I’ve gone to my first NFL game, visited my sister in her new home, and spent lots of time with my family. I’ve been living my life and loving every minute. I feel good!

I feel refreshed and ready to re-dedicate myself to this space. Sister time is good for my soul and it’s hard on me when she lives in a different state. She has moved so many times in the past couple of years and it’s good to see her more settled. I’m so proud of her!

I’m busy catching up on the posts that I have missed reading and have so many posts that I’m looking forward to writing and sharing with you.

How has your life been lately?

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Photo by Mark Tegethoff on Unsplash

Learning How to Say “No”

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I’m a people pleaser and that’s not always a good thing. I hate disappointing people and nothing brings me more joy than helping someone in need. This people pleasing quality gets me in trouble a lot of the time because I make other people happy but don’t have time to chase my own happiness.

I’ve been struggling lately with this because sometimes people take advantage of how caring I am. I get myself in situations where I’m so busy taking care of other people that I don’t take care of myself. I end up exhausted, crying, and swearing that I’ll make a change and start saying “no”.

This weekend we had a family member ask me to do something for her and her family that went way too far. I want to help them but helping them would hurt my mental health in a way that would take too long to recover from. I don’t want to go into details but I had to have a serious conversation with Brett and luckily we both agreed that I had to say no.

Saying no is hard, especially when you love the person and want to help them. But sometimes you have to say no in order to protect yourself from damage. It feels selfish and wrong but it’s needed. I hate disappointing people and I know that this decision will hurt my relationship with the person. But this time I have to put myself first. I have to save myself from something that will damage me.

Taking care of yourself is more than just “self-care Sunday”. Taking care of yourself means protecting your mental health, your energy, and your well-being. It means learning to say “no” to things that will hurt you. Put yourself first, you’re worth it!

Do you have a hard time saying no to people? Any advice on getting over being a people pleaser?

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Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

The Key To A Successful Marriage

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Happy Thursday!

I got some good advice this weekend from a family member and I thought that I’d take a quick second to share it with you:

The key to a successful marriage is communication.

This seems simple and I’ve heard it many times before from other people but it really stuck with me when my cousin said it.

We were talking about marriage and the difficulties that sometimes arise. My husband, Brett, works pretty strange hours because he works in event management. He has to work any night or weekend event that he is in charge of. Because of his job we don’t get to spend a ton of time together and he misses most family events.

I work a normal 8-5 Monday-Friday job which means that Brett and I really don’t see each other a lot during the week. It’s hard to communicate besides a series of text messages that are exchanged throughout the day. But no matter what we do communicate with each other. I always know what’s going on with him, if he’s having a  good day or bad day, and what his hours for that day are.

Communication is the lifeline that holds us together. We may not be together but he at least knows that I care and am interested in what’s going on in his life.

While it is important to have the regular day to day communication it is equally important to communicate about any challenges and goals for the future. We are always talking about our short and long term goals.

We have only been married for a year (on August 19th!) but I can already tell that communication can make or break a relationship. I never want to get to the point where Brett is no longer my best friend.

What do you think is the key to a successful relationship?

Thanks for reading!

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Things That Make Me Happy

Things That Make Me Happy
Hellllloooo!

Life of Hayley has been a little depressing as of late. I was talking to my husband, Brett, the other night and he said I should make a list of the things that make me happy so when I’m down I can read the list. So here goes nothing!

By the way, this list is not in any kind of order.

  • Our cat, Lucy
  • Summer nights by the bonfire
  • Hanging out with Brett
  • Being at the Lake surrounded by family
  • My parent’s dog, Megan
  • Shopping with my mom and sister
  • British candy
  • Road trips
  • A clean car
  • Freshly baked cookies
  • A completed to-do list
  • Sunday afternoon naps
  • Getting a good deal (on anything)
  • Summer in Michigan
  • My grandma’s banana bread and zucchini cake
  • Traveling (especially around Europe)
  • A good ol’ cup of tea
  • Reading before bed
  • Helping someone when they need it
  • Writing (this blog, a book, who knows?)
  • Boat rides
  • Walking the dog
  • Toddlers
  • Nice people
  • An unexpected “Thank You”
  • Weddings
  • A clean house
  • Fresh sheets
  • Weekends
  • New skin care
  • A full tank of gas
  • Clothes that I feel comfortable in
  • An empty e-mail inbox
  • Coke Slushies
  • FroYo
  • Putting my pajamas on after work
  • Christmas Eve
  • Fireworks
  • Summer car rides with music blaring
  • Home
  • Ikea
  • Reading book reviews
  • Brunch
  • Fresh flowers
  • London, England
  • Our wedding video
  • Collecting vintage tea cups
  • Harry Potter!
  • Art Shows
  • People watching
  • Puppies
  • Trader Joe’s
  • 90’s music
  • Sunflowers
  • Sour candy
  • Friends
  • Going to the beach
  • Camping

That was easier than I thought it would be! I could go on and on but I won’t bore you with the details. Making a list of my favorite things actually did make me feel so much better! Next time I’m feeling down I will come back and read through this to remember my happiness.

And as the saying goes – “It’s a bad day, not a bad life”

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite things?

 
Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Photo by Aleksandr Eremin on Unsplash

How to Remain Positive

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I’m not going to lie, today was rough. Being in customer service can make you bitter, angry, and confused. Sometimes I want to tell customers that I’m trying my hardest to make them happy. I am just a twenty year old college student trying to make a living while paying tuition. Today I realized that I cannot possibly make everyone happy. I am a people pleaser and I thrive on making people happy but sometimes there is nothing I can do. Sometimes I have to be the punching bag and just absorb people’s feelings, words, and negativity.

With that said, I have a few tips on how to remain positive even when you are having a terrible day. I am lucky enough to have a manager/friend who is always there to guide me and give me advice. Today he sat me down and explained to me that I have to just keep pushing through. I have to remain positive for the sake of our team. If I crack under the pressure then the whole place will go down with me. So, today I am choosing to overcome the bitterness of others and remain positive and happy. Here’s how I’m doing it:

1. Realize that everyone is different: We all have different preferences, tastes, and feelings. You can’t label everyone the same because each person is unique. Learn something from everyone you meet and you will be a happier, more positive person.

2. Don’t focus on your mistakes: You will mess up every once in a while. No one is perfect so you can’t hold yourself to an unachievable standard. If you hold yourself up to a perfect standard you will just be disappointed in yourself. Cut yourself some slack when you make a mistake and learn from it. Let yourself move on.

3. Give yourself a break: When I get frustrated at work I like to go into the office, shut the lights off and close my eyes. This lets me have a few seconds of peace before returning to chaos. Giving yourself a second to slow down and think will allow you the time to remind yourself to think positive thoughts.

4. Remember that at the end of the day you did your best. Sometimes you have to walk away from things that are causing you pain and that’s okay! Don’t allow yourself to be stuck being miserable. Every day you have the decision about whether or not to have a good day. It’s up to you, and sure people can influence your choice, but ultimately the outcome depends on how you choose to handle it.

Be proud of who you are and what you do! No one can judge you or make you feel like you are worthless. Today you can either choose to be positive or negative. No one can make that choice but you. So, forget about what others say, what they do, or how they act. Remember to remain positive and everything will be okay, I promise.

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Thanks for reading! 🙂