I Can Be Healthy (And You Can Too!)

Health and Wellness

It’s been a few months since I posted about gaining weight. The cold hard truth is that I’ve only lost ten pounds since then and have been struggling to keep the weight off.

I’ve struggled with headaches and migraines for the past 7ish years which means that I’ve been on and off medications more times than I can count trying to find a solution. In 2017 I started to gain weight from the medicine that I was on and couldn’t seem to lose it. I gained about 40 pounds very quickly and there wasn’t much I could do. I know that sounds like an excuse but the medicine I was on really does cause weight gain and at the time it was prescribed I was a healthy 23 year old so my neurologist wasn’t worried about that particular side effect.

In 2018 I stopped taking that medication and stared taking Trokendi XR which I’ve talked about a few times in past posts. I was so sick the whole time that I was able to lose 10 pounds in under a month. One of the side effects of Trokendi is weight loss so I worked with a doctor and knew that it was “healthy”.

Now I have about 40 pounds to go before I’m back to my healthy weight. I only really weigh myself when I’m at the doctor because I have such a negative association with the scale.

I wanted to share this post to let you know that my mindset towards weight loss and being “healthy” is going to change. For the past year I have beat myself up every single day for letting myself go. I’ve refused to look in the mirror or be in pictures. I have told myself over and over again that I’m fat, worthless, and that I’ll only love myself if I lose weight.

But guess what?

All of those statements are wrong. I’m not worthless. I shouldn’t be embarrassed of being in pictures or looking in the mirror. I should love my body for carrying me through every single day of my life thus far.

I can be healthy. We all have choices everyday and these choices lead us down a certain path. In believing that I am worth the struggle, worth the time and energy I will start working towards a healthy lifestyle.

This is my year and I can choose to be anything I want to be.

I choose to be healthy and you can choose to be too. You first need to find the mindset and make the choice.

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Photo by Johnson Wang on Unsplash

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Migraine Update: Decision Time & Leaving my Neurologist

Chronic Headaches and Migraine
Hey, friends!

I finally had a Neurologist appointment last week after being discharged from PT almost a month ago. I thought about writing this after my appointment but I just felt so discouraged that I cried in my car before forcing myself back to work.

Basically, my Neurologist didn’t even read my discharge papers and wanted to put me back on the same medicine I was on before. I put my foot down and told him no because I was on it for YEARS with very minimal results. He was in such a hurry to move onto his next appointment that he didn’t even listen to what I was saying. He prescribed an anti-seizure medication that is crazy expensive.

I am managing just fine right now without any medication. I still have a headache every single day and migraines a few times a month. I really want to try out acupuncture or a chiropractor before trying the prescribed medicine.

I think I have made a big decision though. I don’t want to see this Neurologist anymore. I don’t know if this means seeing another Neurologist or finding a headache specialist somewhere else. All I know is that I can’t justify spending $200 per visit to talk to a brick wall anymore.

My old physical therapist called me on Friday to recommend a book called Grain Brian which apparently goes into how gluten and sugar work with our brains. I ordered it on Amazon and am looking forward to reading it. I really do not want to give up Gluten though.

I want to spend some more time researching before I decide what my next steps should be. Here’s the list of what I am researching:

  • Acupuncture
  • Chiropractor
  • Elimination diet (gluten, dairy, etc)
  • Botox

Things I’ve already tried:

  • Massage Therapy (will do again)
  • Physical Therapy
  • Preventative/Abortive Medications
  • OTC Medications
  • Basic elimination diet (cheese, red wine, etc)
  • Trigger Identification

For now I am just taking it one day at a time and trying to remain positive 🙂 I think things will be much better once I ditch my current Neurologist and find someone who will actually listen and try to help me.

As always, thanks so much for all your support and feedback! I have loved reading your suggestions and have a running list of things to try based on blog comments.

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Image via Unsplash

The Importance of Practicing Self-Care

The Importance of Practicing Self-Care
Hello, my friends!

I have spent the past few weekends learning how to practice self-care. I have never given myself enough time to truly focus on making myself happy. I am always in a rush and when I do have any down time I like to spend it reading or relaxing on the couch. Relaxing is important but I never felt better afterward.

In one of my last posts I talked about my weight gain. What I didn’t really mention were all of the negative things that I brought upon myself because of the weight gain. I hated the way that I looked and the way my clothes fit. I thought punishing myself by squeezing into my old clothes would motivate me to lose weight. Instead I just felt terrible all of the time. My confidence, especially at work, was at an all time low.

A couple of weekends ago I finally had had enough. My mom, sister, and I drove to the outlet mall and I bought all new work pants and jeans. I had no idea how much of an impact those purchases would have on my self esteem. It felt good to not look like I was squished into my pants. I wouldn’t say I felt confident but I did feel better.

The next weekend I decided to spend an hour getting my haircut and eyebrows waxed. It felt so good. I have such thick hair and it grows at such a fast pace. I usually only get my haircut every six months but it was making me unhappy so I decided to change it. You still won’t catch me styling it in any way but at least I can brush it!

Spending a little time on self care is SO important and I am just now realizing that. I have never ever made the time to put myself first. I deserve to be happy and shouldn’t punish myself for the fact that I’ve gained weight.

Do you have any tips for practicing self-care? I’d love to hear them!

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash

I’ve Gained Weight

I've Gained Weight

Hey guys,

I’m back with another post. This may be the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write but as you can tell from the title….

I’ve gained weight.

That one sentence makes me want to crawl back in bed and not come out for a very long time. I have a very negative relationship with food and weight that makes this topic hard for me to discuss.

The truth is that I am at the highest weight I have ever been. My clothes don’t fit, my skin is stretched out and uncomfortable, and I feel sluggish all the time. I have started my “weight loss journey” at least three times over the past 6 months but it’s hard and I quit because I don’t see any results. The number on the scale just keep growing and growing so I have stopped looking all together.

I can remember a time when stepping on the scale was the highlight of my day. The numbers kept dropping and I was so proud of myself. I thought being in the double digits would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. Luckily for me, I never quite made it to that extreme.

It’s been several years since I was at my lowest weight. I don’t remember consciously making the decision to lose weight all of those years ago. I was just anxious and didn’t ever feel hungry. I started college and gained the typical “freshman 15” which put me back at a healthy weight.

Over the years I have gained and lost weight. When I studied abroad in London I gained about 20 pounds which I was able to lose easily when I came home. I stayed at pretty much the same weight until I got married. I went a bit crazy during the honeymoon and ate whatever I wanted. Since coming back in early September I continued to eat anything and everything. It felt great not having to think about fitting myself into my wedding dress.

I did not realize how big I had gotten until my clothes stopped fitting me all together. When I look in the mirror I can see that I’ve gained weight but I had no idea how much I had actually gained. I went to the doctor and saw the number on the scale and had a small panic moment. I could not believe that this was my reality.

Now I can’t seem to lose the weight. I eat healthy and work out but the numbers on the scale keep getting bigger. I’m not sure if there’s a reason, like hormones or medication, or if I need to try something different. I usually shed a few pounds each summer because my activity level goes up and I eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.

This post isn’t about telling you that I have started some crazy new healthy lifestyle. In fact, I am still trying to find the best diet and workout routine that will work for me and my body.

I really just wanted to share my story as someone who has a negative relationship with food. I am trying my best to lose weight in a healthy way and stop any crash dieting that can be harmful to my body.  I know that this journey will take some time and I want to do what is best for me, both physically and mentally.

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for having a healthy lifestyle! And as always, thanks so much for reading!

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash