I Can Be Healthy (And You Can Too!)

Health and Wellness

It’s been a few months since I posted about gaining weight. The cold hard truth is that I’ve only lost ten pounds since then and have been struggling to keep the weight off.

I’ve struggled with headaches and migraines for the past 7ish years which means that I’ve been on and off medications more times than I can count trying to find a solution. In 2017 I started to gain weight from the medicine that I was on and couldn’t seem to lose it. I gained about 40 pounds very quickly and there wasn’t much I could do. I know that sounds like an excuse but the medicine I was on really does cause weight gain and at the time it was prescribed I was a healthy 23 year old so my neurologist wasn’t worried about that particular side effect.

In 2018 I stopped taking that medication and stared taking Trokendi XR which I’ve talked about a few times in past posts. I was so sick the whole time that I was able to lose 10 pounds in under a month. One of the side effects of Trokendi is weight loss so I worked with a doctor and knew that it was “healthy”.

Now I have about 40 pounds to go before I’m back to my healthy weight. I only really weigh myself when I’m at the doctor because I have such a negative association with the scale.

I wanted to share this post to let you know that my mindset towards weight loss and being “healthy” is going to change. For the past year I have beat myself up every single day for letting myself go. I’ve refused to look in the mirror or be in pictures. I have told myself over and over again that I’m fat, worthless, and that I’ll only love myself if I lose weight.

But guess what?

All of those statements are wrong. I’m not worthless. I shouldn’t be embarrassed of being in pictures or looking in the mirror. I should love my body for carrying me through every single day of my life thus far.

I can be healthy. We all have choices everyday and these choices lead us down a certain path. In believing that I am worth the struggle, worth the time and energy I will start working towards a healthy lifestyle.

This is my year and I can choose to be anything I want to be.

I choose to be healthy and you can choose to be too. You first need to find the mindset and make the choice.

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Photo by Johnson Wang on Unsplash

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Life Update

Life Update - You Got This - Chronic Migraine

Hey friends!

It’s been awhile since my last blog post and I have started writing this so many times but have never hit publish for one reason or another. The last you heard from me I was in Italy with Brett enjoying a much needed vacation. I want to do a full recap on our time in Italy AND Paris very soon because it was amazing but first I wanted to go over a couple of things that I have happened while I’ve been away.

The first big thing that I celebrated was my 25th birthday! My birthday always causes me to reflect on the reason why I started Life of Hayley. This blog began right after my 20th birthday as a way to document the 25 things I wanted to accomplish before turning 25. With that said, Life of Hayley is turning five! I can’t believe that I’ve been blogging for five years already! A full recap on my five years of blogging will be coming your way very soon.

I also want to give a quick health update which is the main reason why I had to take a break from blogging. I did start seeing a new Neurologist in October and he started me on a new medication. I will probably do a full migraine update at some point but let’s just say this new medication say not agreed with me at all. I’ve been very sick for the past six weeks and it’s been taking a toll on my mental health. I hate that my health has once again impacted my blogging because I was really starting to grow this space but sometimes I have to take a step back and take care of myself first.

I promise that there will be more to follow soon. I don’t want to drop off the face of the planet again.

Thanks for reading!

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Migraine Update: Feeling Discouraged

Migraine Update: Feeling Discouraged

It’s been over a month since my last migraine update and honestly not much has changed.

I saw my primary care doctor about 3 weeks ago and she referred me to a new neurologist at the other hospital in my town. There are two hospitals where I live and you either go to one or the other for everything health related not both. I have always gone to one but my doctor recommended that I try the other.

So, she sent the referral to my neurologist who had his medical assistant call me. Apparently, he can choose not to discharge me from his care if he feels that he can still help me. The MA asked me for the reason I wanted to change doctors and I was really honest with her. 1. I have been seeing him for over five years and we have only tried two treatment options and neither worked. 2. I want a second opinion.

The MA was supposed to call me back but that was over two weeks ago. I called yesterday for an update and he hasn’t even looked at my file yet. I tried to explain my frustration and pain but I really felt like it fell on deaf ears. To make matters worse, the new neurologist I wanted to see has switched to my current neurologist’s practice which will make the switch even harder. Apparently it’s rare that they will allow you to switch neurologists within the same practice and it sounds like that will be the case for me.

Yesterday I got off the phone and cried. It’s so discouraging to feel like you are headed in the right direction one second and then back at the beginning the next. This journey has not been easy and I’m sick of pretending like it has. I pretend everyday that things are okay and I feel fine. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing all of the things I am doing. I try to put on this brave face but anytime someone asks me how I am feeling I fall apart.

Once again I am faced with a couple of options. The first is that I go back to my neurologist and try to talk him. I don’t think that this will be happening. The second is to find another neurologist at the other practice and see if he/she is accepting new patients. The third option is to finally make an appointment at the University of Michigan Neurosciences which I have been trying to avoid because of the distance and potential cost.

I have not had a headache free day at all in 2018 and that makes me angry. I’m not a neurologist and I have done everything that I can on my own to fix myself. I need a professional’s help and that professional will not be my current neurologist. I also suck at confrontation and am having a hard time advocating for myself. Hopefully if I do have to go back to my neurologist I can find a patient advocate to help me.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with my journey to a pain-free life. It hasn’t been easy and I doubt it will be easy at any point. I am just hoping that somewhere down the line I can find a solution that will work for me. I’m trying not to give up hope. I am not currently taking any medication at all besides still overusing ibprofen in order to live a “normal” life.

Thanks for reading!

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