Marriage in Quarantine

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One thing I quickly realized because of quarantine was that my marriage was far from perfect.

Every relationship has it’s problems. You can’t have a relationship without fights and disagreements because each person has their own ideas that make them an individual thinker.

I realized that my marriage wasn’t perfect because I didn’t feel like I had enough one on one time with my husband. I didn’t feel loved or appreciated because I wasn’t spending enough time with him. I guess it can be considered a good problem because after all these years all I wanted was to spend some time with him. I craved an at home date night consisting of dinner and a movie. Nothing complicated or expensive.

Being asked to stay home has been a blessing because I’ve been able to spend so much time with Brett that we normally don’t get to have together. I realized how much I missed him even though I see him everyday.

Brett has a million hobbies which means that he is always on the go. I travel with him some of the time but it’s too overwhelming for me to go to every single airshow and amusement park especially when I have migraines. This has forced him to slow down and stay home with me.

We still aren’t perfect but I’m so much happier. I know once our stay at home order is lifted Brett will be right back to traveling but I hope this time has shown him how important our time together is too.

How are your relationships holding up?

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Meet My Husband & His Blog

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Over the past 6+ years I have mentioned Brett a million times but have never really introduced him. Brett and I have been together since 2011 so he’s been part of this blog since the very beginning and was my original fan and supporter.

Recently Brett decided to launch his own blog, Universe of Adventure, so I thought it would be fun to do a little Q&A with him. It’s still a work in progress but I know he’s worked really hard on it and it’s been a fun project for us to work on during quarantine.

I came up with some random questions to ask Brett and I thought I’d share his answers.

  1. How did we meet?
    “We met through a mutual friend that I did theater with. We started texting and went on our first date a couple weeks later.”
  2. What is your blog about?
    “My blog is about all of my interests. I chose the name Universe of Adventures because a universe can be broken up into different worlds. I will be blogging about beer, travel, amusement parks, weather, aviation, and sports.”
  3. Would you describe yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?
    “100% an extrovert but I sometimes have introverted tendencies.”
  4. What is your dream vacation?
    “I would have to say Prague for the beer and the history.”
  5. What’s your favorite blog post that I have written?
    “Probably all the posts about the trips we have taken. All the way back to 2014 when we would visit my grandparents in Florida.”
  6. What was your major in college?
    “I was a double major in Aviation Science and Administration and Geography with a focus in Economic and Regional Geography.”
  7. What is your favorite part about being married?
    “Ummm…..having someone to share everything with and to create memories with.”
  8. What are 3 words that describe you?
    “Interesting, fun, and smart.”
  9. What’s the first thing you want to do after quarantine?
    “Travel but I might not be able to do that right away. So I want to just be able to leave the house and go to a bar or a restaurant. That would be really nice.”
  10. Where’s your favorite place that you have traveled to?
    “This is hard for me to choose because there are so many good places. If I had to narrow it down to my top 3 I’d say Florida, England, and Italy.”
  11. If we started a band, what would our band name be?
    *thinks hard and giggles to himself* “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
  12. What’s your motto in life?
    “Take your life seriously but don’t forget to enjoy it. It’s okay to have fun.”

I hope you enjoyed meeting Brett! We had fun working on this post so let us know if you have any questions you’d like us to answer together!

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Five on Friday #19

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Happy Friday!

I am so glad it’s almost the weekend! It’s been a tough week and I need to re-charge. I’m still working from home since the Michigan stay at home order was extended to the end of May. Are you still under a stay at home order?

Without further ado, here are five random things for your Friday morning.

  1. I’ve seen all over social media that people are struggling with anxiety right now which is helping me feel less alone during this time. I’ve had pretty good control on my anxiety for the last couple of years but now I feel like I’ve lost control. I know it’s just temporary and it helps to know that everyone is feeling anxious right now. I started taking a magnesium supplement for my migraines but my Neurologist said this also might help my anxiety so fingers crossed! Let me know if you have any other ideas for dealing with anxiety.
  2. The weather is finally starting to warm up in Michigan and since everything is cancelled this summer Brett and I are working on a little backyard refresh. My dad just built a new fire pit in our yard and I’m trying to decide on what patio furniture to buy. We have a double lot backyard so we have lots of room to work with. I’m thinking a badminton set is a must!
  3. I selected the items for my summer 2020 FabFitFun box a couple of weeks ago and I was so excited to see that they included the DryBar Prep Rally Prime & Prep Detangler. I got this detangler in my winter box and loved it! I have really thick wavy hair and this makes it shiny and soft. Do you have FFF? What did you pick for your summer box? My sister and I got my mom a membership for Mother’s Day and it was so much fun choosing our boxes together!
  4. Brett has been doing all of the grocery shopping for us over the past couple of months which means that I haven’t really left the house at all. We are hoping to go to Costco this weekend to stock up on some essentials. We usually go to Costco once a quarter but haven’t been at all this year. I’m anxious to leave the house but I think it’ll be good for my mental health. Plus, my grandma made us super cute face masks to wear!
  5. Brett and I have been making it a habit to have Saturday night date night since this quarantine started. Brett’s schedule is usually crazy so we rarely have dates. Our date nights have consisted of grabbing takeout from a local restaurant and watching a movie but I still really enjoy the one on one time. I actually think staying home has been really good for our marriage. What have you been doing during quarantine?

Do you have any plans for this weekend? Other than date night I’ll just be at home getting stuff done around the house.

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Photo by Emiel Molenaar on Unsplash

Five on Friday #18

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It’s finally Friday and I couldn’t be happier! This week was so busy for me, mostly because it was the end of the month and end of the first quarter so work was incredibly crazy. I’m happy to be busy though because I’m not feeling bored while quarantined.

Without further ado, here are five random things for your Friday morning.

  1. I received my spring FabFitFun box a couple of months ago but I just started using the Gravity weighted sleep mask that was in my box. I think many people were disappointed with this product because we have seen a few eye masks from FabFitFun already. However, I am a big fan of eye masks because they are really helpful when I have migraines and need to block out all the light. I’ve been sleeping with this one this week and the weight is so comforting! It sounds weird but wearing this eye mask is soothing and I fall asleep really quickly!
  2. This was my first full week of being quarantined and I think it went really well. I have my normal work setup at home so it’s not super difficult for me. We have a great phone system that allows us to work remotely and have video conferences easily so that hasn’t been an issue at all. How are things going for you?
  3. I’ve been loving cooking dinner lately! I’m trying to be more creative with meals now that we are exclusively eating at home. I got a few Keto cookbooks for Christmas from my mom this year so I’ve been using those in addition to just making recipes up as I go. My favorite Keto cookbook is this one by Amy Ramos which is usually under $10 on Amazon!
  4. If you knew me in real life you’d know that I pretty much always have a Sparkling Ice water in my hand. I’ve loved them for years and drink at least one a day. I don’t eat sugar so these are my sweet treat and a great substitute for soft drinks. When I was visiting my sister in New Hampshire I tried the Sparking Ice + Caffeine waters and they were a game changer! I don’t drink coffee but every once in awhile I need a little caffeine. I can’t buy them at any stores around me but I did find them on Amazon. The Blue Raspberry is my favorite!
  5. I have been loving watching YouTube lately. For three years Brett and I only owned one TV which was fine by me but I got used to not ever watching the TV so instead I’d watch YouTube. I like to play videos when I’m cooking, cleaning, writing, etc. I recently discovered Jen Chapin and I love her grocery hauls, meal prep, and day in the life videos. She really inspires me to create a healthy work-life balance.

I usually share my weekend plans in these posts but these days I have nothing going on. I have to admit, I am enjoying my one-on-one time with Brett. It feels like everyday is a date while we are eating our meals together and watching movies. I’m really glad to have some time to just spend with him.

Do you have any plans for this weekend? What are you loving lately?

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Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

Love in the Time of Quarantine

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A few years ago my family lost someone very important to them unexpectantly. The loss came out of nowhere and we carried our grief for a long time. I had so many regrets swirling around inside of me about what I wish I would have said to this person. How I wished that they knew that I cared about them and believed in them. But it was too late and I couldn’t say any of those things.

From this loss I learned a really important lesson. Always say how you feel and always say “I love you”.

Brett and I have been together for almost nine years, married for almost three. He’s my person but sometimes he’s also the person who annoys me most in the world. Our marriage isn’t perfect but I learned the hard way to always, always say “I love you.”

Every morning when I leave for work I make sure it’s the last thing I say to him. That’s how we end every single phone call. He texts me that he’s leaving work and I text right back “Drive safe. I love you!” Those are the last words I hear before falling asleep every night. Even if we are mad at each other we always make sure to say “I love you” and mean it.

My family has always been very loving. Every phone call with my mom or my sister ends with “I luhhhh you, boo boo”. There will never be a question on if we loved each other or not.

In these scary times I think it is especially important to let people know how you feel about them. I am very aware of this and try not to take any day together or conversation for granted. We might not be able to leave our homes right now but we can still call, text, or facetime our loved ones and check in on them.

Have you told someone that you loved them today?

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Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Reflecting on 25 Years

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For as long as I can remember I have been looking forward to my 26th birthday. My 26th birthday is also my golden birthday so I thought that meant something amazing. As a kid I imagined that 26 would be the best age, I’d have my whole life figured out by then.

I turn 26 on Saturday and I know that I don’t have my whole life figured out but that’s okay. I’ve spent the past week reflecting on my 25 years on this planet. All the good, the bad, and the incredibly ugly moments that have made up every second of my existence. I thought I’d share the thoughts that have been floating through my mind as I prepare for this special milestone in my life.

  •  I’ve spent all but 20 months of my life with a built in best friend. Being a big sister wasn’t always my favorite thing but I’m so glad to have my sister!
  • My grandparents have always been a huge part of my life. All three of them have supported, comforted, and cheered me on and I’m grateful to have them.
  • My mom is the best person in the world. I can count on her for anything and even at *almost* 26 years old I still need my mom!
  • My dad and I haven’t always gotten along but I know he had good intentions. Having two daughters wasn’t his dream but he always supported us and provided for us. I’m glad I’m no longer a sassy teenager and we can get along!
  • Brett has been a major part of my life for the last 8 years. He’s been my shoulder to cry on, my pillar of strength, and my friend. Like I said in my wedding vows, Brett came into my life when I really needed a friend. He was brought to me at the perfect time and I’m always grateful to have him as my other half.
  • Lucy and Oscar are my furbabies and they make me so happy. Lucy was a gift from my parents after I went through a really rough patch in high school. She’s the perfect therapy animal and is always there for me when I’m upset. Oscar is the goofiest dog and really completes our little family (for now!).
  • Middle School and High School were some of the hardest years of my life. I couldn’t wait to graduate and forget all of the horrors that I experienced. It’s been 7 years since I graduated and I realize that all of those terrible moments made me who I am today. I’m stronger because of the tough moments.
  • College wasn’t what I expected. I worked hard in class and at my job and didn’t really have the time to socialize. I’m glad I went to business school but wish that maybe I had tried to make a few more friends. I struggled a lot during these years.
  • Studying abroad in London was the highlight of my college career. I made friendships that have lasted despite the distance between us. London became my second home and for a homebody like me, that says a lot.
  • Unfortunately, migraines and headaches have been a huge part of my life. I’m still struggling but I’ll keep fighting for as long as it takes!
  • We had a foreign exchange student live with us during my sophomore year in high school. She was a family friend from Denmark and I was so excited to finally have an older “sister”. She is beautiful and loving but I was a brat. I learned so much about other cultures during this time and am proud to call her my sister to this day. She even came to our wedding and played an important part in our day!
  • People say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. That wasn’t true for me because I knew that there would be many “happiest” days for us as a couple. Our wedding day was one of many happy days but it felt amazing to be surrounded by people who loved us so much and wanted to celebrate our life together.
  • Buying our house was special. Everything fell into place and we found the most amazing home to start our life together in. We walked in and I knew that I knew that this house was meant for us. I have never felt so settled in my life! I’m happy to be here and add our happy memories to this incredible home.
  • I’ve had two best friends since the third grade. We may not talk everyday or see each other often but I know that I can always count on them.
  • I went through a really tough breakup in high school that set the rest of my life in motion. I would be so different if I hadn’t gone through this breakup exactly the way it happened. It’s hard to acknowledge that this was a pivotal life moment for me.
  • After graduating college I jumped into the job search like it was my second job. I struggled for those couple of months after college before I found a job. I stumbled into my current job because I knew that the company was amazing. It wasn’t my dream job but I knew I’d be happy. Three years later and I’m so grateful that I took the leap of faith!
  • In school I struggled with anxiety and depression which I don’t often talk about. I learned a lot about myself during these times and continue to learn as I grow older. In high school I also struggled with body image and an eating disorder. All of these things have shaped me into who I am today. I’m sad for past Hayley but glad that these hurdles were added to my journey to make me a stronger and more empathetic person.
  • Band was a huge part of my life! I played the flute from 5th to 12th grade. I took private lessons, made symphonic band as a freshman, was a total marching bank geek, and made SO many band friends along the way. I think I would have been lost in high school without band. I even considered being a music performance major in college!
  • My parents always provided a warm home, food, clothes, and toys without making us spoiled brats. I learned the value of a dollar at an early age and have always been financially savvy which has proven to be helpful in my current career in finance.
  • In 2011 I traveled to Europe for the first time with my high school band. This trip opened my eyes up to a whole new world of possibilities. From that moment on I was always planning my next trip. I want to see the world and am grateful that I had this opportunity to inspire me to chase my dreams.
  • My parents have fought for me. They have helped me chase every dream, they have supported me, and they have loved me when I was pretty unlovable. I know that I’m lucky to have them.
  • I’ve been all over the world, I’ve left my heart in so many places. Yet the feeling of coming home is always my favorite.
  • Here’s to the hundreds of notebooks that I filled with stories, songs, poems, and random thoughts throughout the years. I recently went through these notebooks that dated all the way back to preschool. I’ve always been a writer and I’m glad I found blogging to fulfill my passion.
  • Speaking of blogging, in the next couple of weeks I will be celebrating SIX years of Life of Hayley! I never imagined that my passion for writing would take me here. To a platform where I can share my most precious thoughts and feelings and be understood and acccepted. Thank you for sharing my journey with me!

All of these little moments, these struggles, these “happiest” days have made me who I am today. These friends, family, and loved ones have shaped and inspired me. I’ve been hardened by the struggles to know my worth and to fight for what I believe in. I’ve learned to love myself even when I think that no one else does.

The past 25 years have been challenging, exciting, emotional, and adventurous. What will the next 25 or 50 years bring? I have no idea! But that’s part of the adventure!

If you have gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! I am a sentimental introvert!

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Fall 2019 Bucket List

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Happy Fall Ya’ll!

Fall makes me love Michigan even more than I usually do. Michigan was made for fall and I like to take advantage of all the fun fall activities. Here a few of the things I’m hoping to do this fall season!

  1. Carve pumpkins
  2. Go to a Detroit Lions game
  3. Buy new fall staples for my wardrobe
  4. Decorate for Halloween
  5. Bake apple crisp
  6. Pass out Halloween candy
  7. Enjoy Fall Fest at work
  8. Drink hot apple cider
  9. Watch Hocus Pocus and Halloweentown
  10. Cozy up with a good book
  11. Eat fresh apple and pumpkin donuts
  12. Buy mums for our front porch
  13. Go on a weekend trip
  14. Take Oscar for a scenic fall walk
  15. Host a bonfire with our friends

What’s on your fall bucket list?

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Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash