Overcoming Self-Doubt

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I need my next blog post to be titled “10 Things That I love About Myself” because I have been terrible to myself lately. I have let self-doubt kill almost every dream that I’ve ever had. I’ve blamed this doubt on my personality. I’m too shy, too introverted, too awkward, etc.

Enough is enough.

My whole life I have been waiting for a sign from the universe telling me that I’m good enough. I’ve always thought that the world was built for beautiful people with their styled hair, perfect makeup, and put together outfits. I’ve only recently discovered that behind those perfect looks are just normal people who are also doubting themselves too.

I almost let my self-doubt ruin a really good opportunity at work. I’m so afraid of speaking my mind that I shut down and shut people out. I’d rather ruin something than fail at it. I’m scared of taking a chance and having it thrown back in my face.

Well, Hayley, this is your sign.

No one cares that I’ve gained weight. No one cares that I have no idea how to do my hair or makeup. I am projecting these issues onto myself and dragging my own name in the mud in the process.

Tomorrow is a new day and I promise to be kinder to myself. I promise to thank my body for carrying me through every day. I promise to look in the mirror and not say a million nasty things to my reflection. I promise to hold my head high and own my career.

It’s easy to let self-doubt get in the way of your life. I’ve done it a million times. If you are waiting for your sign from the universe like I was, let me be your sign too. It’s time to take back control.

Whatever you are facing, you’ve got this!

Do you have any tips for overcoming self-doubt? How do you deal with it?

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Photo by David Kiriakidis on Unsplash

My Honest Opinion About Self-Care

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Sundays are always stressful for me. I’ve mentioned the Sunday Scaries before and I haven’t found a way around that feeling yet. Yesterday I woke up and promised myself that I would do something to take care of myself and I couldn’t manage to do it.

Self-care is glamorized as face masks and bubble baths but I’d actually just love to read a good book and drink a cup of tea. Lately I’ve been so busy that I even feel like I need to rush through my daily shower in order to get more things done. Self- care is needed but it isn’t happening.

My generation puts so much pressure on themselves to succeed. My university has something called “30 Under 30” which highlights graduates under 30 who have moved on and done amazing things with their lives. I hate that. I don’t need a daily competition reminder.

I’m burnt out and frustrated with this self-care talk. I’ve spent so much time taking care of other people and sometimes I really just need someone to take care of me. I have a ton of negative energy around me right now and I need to get away from it.

Do you have any tips for self-care?

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Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

 

 

Learning How to Say “No”

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I’m a people pleaser and that’s not always a good thing. I hate disappointing people and nothing brings me more joy than helping someone in need. This people pleasing quality gets me in trouble a lot of the time because I make other people happy but don’t have time to chase my own happiness.

I’ve been struggling lately with this because sometimes people take advantage of how caring I am. I get myself in situations where I’m so busy taking care of other people that I don’t take care of myself. I end up exhausted, crying, and swearing that I’ll make a change and start saying “no”.

This weekend we had a family member ask me to do something for her and her family that went way too far. I want to help them but helping them would hurt my mental health in a way that would take too long to recover from. I don’t want to go into details but I had to have a serious conversation with Brett and luckily we both agreed that I had to say no.

Saying no is hard, especially when you love the person and want to help them. But sometimes you have to say no in order to protect yourself from damage. It feels selfish and wrong but it’s needed. I hate disappointing people and I know that this decision will hurt my relationship with the person. But this time I have to put myself first. I have to save myself from something that will damage me.

Taking care of yourself is more than just “self-care Sunday”. Taking care of yourself means protecting your mental health, your energy, and your well-being. It means learning to say “no” to things that will hurt you. Put yourself first, you’re worth it!

Do you have a hard time saying no to people? Any advice on getting over being a people pleaser?

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2019: Second Quarter Goals Recap

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In April I posted my second quarter goals with the hopes of accomplishing everything on my list. I think I did a pretty good job considering that Q2 flew right by! I’m starting to think that I have a terrible sense of time because I blink and it’s the end of the quarter.

  1. Create a self-care routine. I’ve come to the conclusion that self-care is different for everyone. I’m not really the bath and face mask type even though I really want to be. I spent Q2 creating a non-stressful nighttime routine including a time to be in bed every night. I took melotonin so that I could sleep better and started doing at home workouts and nightly walks. All of these things made me feel like I was taking more time for myself instead of being so stressed out all of the time.
  2. Learn two new recipes to add to our dinner rotation. Done and done. I wanted to include learning how to cook a ham for Easter in this but decided that I should learn something else. 🙂 I learned how to make crack chicken in the crockpot and lemon chicken with feta and garlic asparagus. Pretty proud of myself since I despise cooking.
  3. Start planning out our summer schedule. I hate coordinating my busy summer schedule with Brett’s even busier summer schedule. I feel like I never get to see him and that’s why I wanted to prioritize our schedules this summer. So far everything has gone well and both of our schedules are mapped out.
  4. Finish my spring cleaning projects. I didn’t get everything done on my list but I do feel really good about the progress I’ve made organizing our house. The basement and storage room still need help but I think that the rest of the house is looking really good! We even got around to power washing the house and cleaning the gutters.
  5. Get a quote to have our driveway re-done. We got the quote and it’s pretty expensive. We bought our house at the top of the market so we decided that it’s probably best to only do one big house project. We’d rather spend the money on a new bathroom instead of getting the driveway re-done.
  6. Go shopping and do a spring wardrobe refresh! I pretty much failed at this. I was able to buy a couple new pairs of work pants and some shorts and tops. But I didn’t go through my closet and donate/sell the clothes I’m not using. I really do need to buy some more clothes but I’m trying to be extremely picky.

Q2 was really great and I’m looking forward to a busy and rewarding Q3! I’ll be posting my Q3 goals soon so be on the lookout for those.

How was the first half of 2019 for you?

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Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

2019: Second Quarter Goals

Setting goals for 2019

I always enjoy starting a new quarter. Doing quarterly goals really challenges me to accomplish my goal list in a timely fashion. I feel like I accomplish way more this way! I can’t believe that we are already a quarter of the way through 2019! I really enjoyed Q1 and am looking forward to a productive and fun Q2.

In case you are new to Life of Hayley, every quarter I set a few new goals for myself. I do this instead of your typical New Years Resolutions and find myself actually accomplishing the goals I set for myself instead of getting to December and realizing I never did anything. This also allows me to set goals throughout the year that are relevant and specific to the time of year.

I hope this inspires you to set some quarterly goals of your own!

  1. Create a self-care routine. I am so bad at self-care. It always feels like such a waste of time when I have a million other important things that need my attention. This quarter I want to focus on myself and creating a self-care routine that I enjoy.
  2. Learn two new recipes to add to our dinner rotation. I hate cooking and am usually happy to eat the same things over and over again. But I have been doing the same dinner rotations for over two years now and I really need to switch things up. I have several cookbooks and I love Pinterest so I’m sure it will be easy to find two new recipes to try!
  3. Start planning out our summer schedule. Summers are always crazy for us! Brett is a huge airshow fan and helps organize a couple in our area. Pretty much every weekend in the summer is spent at airshows. I also want to be able to spend time with family and friends too which has been difficult in the past. We have decided that I’m going to step away from the airshows this year and let Brett go to most of them alone. This means that we will have to carefully plan our time so we still have some weekends together.
  4. Finish my spring cleaning projects. I love organizing my house and spring feels like the perfect time to finish all the little projects that I have been putting off all year like organizing the storage room and cleaning out my car. I love the feeling of a clean and organized house! Plus, this is a great opportunity to re-decorate. You can find my spring cleaning list here.
  5. Get a quote to have our driveway re-done. We were going to build a new bathroom this year in our basement but decided to save money and do it next year. Instead of the building the bathroom we have decided to see how much it would be to have our driveway re-done. We bought our house in the winter so we weren’t really able to see how bad the driveway was. Hopefully getting it re-done is within our budget for the year!
  6. Go shopping and do a spring wardrobe refresh! I wear the same outfits to work every week and it’s gotten really old. I don’t feel great in what I have been wearing and my confidence suffers because of that. I think buying a couple of new pieces to add in will really help! Plus, I am hoping to shed a few more pounds and know that I will need new work pants soon.

I am looking forward to crushing these goals over the next few months! The weather is finally starting to warm up in Michigan and I can almost feel summer approaching! If you didn’t know, summer in Michigan is the most amazing thing ever (I am not biased at all). I can’t wait to spend my days at the lake surrounded by my family.

Do you have any goals that you want to accomplish this quarter?

You can check out my Q1 goals here!

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Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

 

Recharging the “Introvert Battery”

Introvert Recharge

Happy Friday!

I don’t know about you but I am exhausted! I have been going nonstop lately and I am in desperate need of a break.

“What’s an introvert battery?” you ask. Great question! I don’t know if this a real term but it’s something I use to explain how I feel. If I know I’m going to be in social situations I spend some time alone to recharge my “battery” before needing to talk and interact with people. After I’m done interacting I go home and sit to recharge myself for the next outing. Being social takes all of my energy sometimes.

I’ve talked many times about being an introvert and one of my most prominent introvert tendencies is the need for alone time. I have had very little alone time as of late and need to recharge my battery. By recharge I mean not be around people for awhile.

I hate being “on” all of the time and I need to switch myself “off” for a while. I’ve been a little quiet on the blog lately just because I feel so overwhelmed right now. It’s so hard to explain this to people who don’t experience the same feelings of anxiety towards social situations. Brett tries really hard to understand but he loves being around people so he struggles to realize that I can’t do as much as he can.

Sometimes I wish I could have a personality transfer because these periods of my life suck. It makes me feel selfish and ungrateful when I have to say no to friends and family that want to see me. But if I don’t recharge soon I will crash. I’ve crashed a few times before and it’s not fun and I end up feeling guilty about it for days. Our wedding day took a full introvert battery and I crashed at the end of the night because I was so overwhelmed and exhausted.

Do you ever feel this way too?

Thanks for reading!

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The Importance of Practicing Self-Care

The Importance of Practicing Self-Care
Hello, my friends!

I have spent the past few weekends learning how to practice self-care. I have never given myself enough time to truly focus on making myself happy. I am always in a rush and when I do have any down time I like to spend it reading or relaxing on the couch. Relaxing is important but I never felt better afterward.

In one of my last posts I talked about my weight gain. What I didn’t really mention were all of the negative things that I brought upon myself because of the weight gain. I hated the way that I looked and the way my clothes fit. I thought punishing myself by squeezing into my old clothes would motivate me to lose weight. Instead I just felt terrible all of the time. My confidence, especially at work, was at an all time low.

A couple of weekends ago I finally had had enough. My mom, sister, and I drove to the outlet mall and I bought all new work pants and jeans. I had no idea how much of an impact those purchases would have on my self esteem. It felt good to not look like I was squished into my pants. I wouldn’t say I felt confident but I did feel better.

The next weekend I decided to spend an hour getting my haircut and eyebrows waxed. It felt so good. I have such thick hair and it grows at such a fast pace. I usually only get my haircut every six months but it was making me unhappy so I decided to change it. You still won’t catch me styling it in any way but at least I can brush it!

Spending a little time on self care is SO important and I am just now realizing that. I have never ever made the time to put myself first. I deserve to be happy and shouldn’t punish myself for the fact that I’ve gained weight.

Do you have any tips for practicing self-care? I’d love to hear them!

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

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