Tag: self love

10 Things That I Love About Myself

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I wrote a post last week titled “Overcoming Self-Doubt” which was hard to write but really important for me to share. One of my main goals of blogging is to share my real life which includes all of the ugly moments in between the magical moments. Self-doubt is something that I have struggled with my whole life and I have let it slow me down and ruin many opportunities.

Today I wanted to share 10 things that I love about myself to remind myself that I have so many good qualities to share with the world.

  1. I’m funny. I’m typically a quiet person and I didn’t know that I was funny until my sister told me. I don’t open up around people very easily but I’ve been trying to open up more and I enjoy letting my personality shine. I’m able to make people laugh along with me and bring a bit of brightness to their day.
  2. I’m empathetic. I’m a crier and if I see someone crying I will probably cry with them. I feel all the feelings so strongly and deeply that it’s often hard to catch my breath. I want to help people feel better. I want to be able to take some of their pain away. Being empathetic is a superpower in my book.
  3. I’m a great listener. I tend to thank my introverted tendencies for making me such a great listener. I’m constantly aware of my surroundings and love a good chat with a friend to catch up on their life.
  4. Children love me. For some reason children have always loved me. They naturally seem to make their way to me and want to talk or play. When I was young I couldn’t wait to be a mom and have children of my own to run around with.
  5. I always put family first. I was at a funeral recently and the minister said something about spending a day with your family and friends because you never know when it’s your last time. I think about that all the time now and cherish every moment with my family and friends.
  6. I’m a dog AND a cat person. A lot of people seem to be one or the other but I have both a dog and cat and I love them equally.
  7. I love to travel. A part of me is always ready for the next adventure but I’m a planner so I must think everything over before acting. I look forward to the next trip all year.
  8. I’m a dreamer. I’m always lost in my own head dreaming up my next blog post, thoughts, words, adventures, etc. I have big dreams and I’m always working on my next move to make my dreams come true.
  9. I’m a great wife. Being married is so hard and I think I was a little naive going into it. I got married at 23 after being with my husband for 6 years. Even though we had been together for so long and had lived together prior to being married, it’s still been a bit of a challenge. I know I’m a great wife though and I’ll never stop fighting for my husband.
  10. I’m an introvert. If you asked me a year ago I would have said that being an introvert was my worst quality. Now I know that being an introvert is what makes me empathetic, caring, thoughtful, and organized. Some of my very best qualities were created because of my personality and I’m so glad I have learned to embrace it!

If you are struggling with self-doubt or any other type of insecurity I challenge you to create a list of 10 things you love about yourself too. I thought coming up with 10 things would be hard but I found it to be quite therapeutic.

We are our own worst critics. It’s okay to have a bad day but it’s so important to give yourself grace and respect.

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My Honest Opinion About Self-Care

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Sundays are always stressful for me. I’ve mentioned the Sunday Scaries before and I haven’t found a way around that feeling yet. Yesterday I woke up and promised myself that I would do something to take care of myself and I couldn’t manage to do it.

Self-care is glamorized as face masks and bubble baths but I’d actually just love to read a good book and drink a cup of tea. Lately I’ve been so busy that I even feel like I need to rush through my daily shower in order to get more things done. Self- care is needed but it isn’t happening.

My generation puts so much pressure on themselves to succeed. My university has something called “30 Under 30” which highlights graduates under 30 who have moved on and done amazing things with their lives. I hate that. I don’t need a daily competition reminder.

I’m burnt out and frustrated with this self-care talk. I’ve spent so much time taking care of other people and sometimes I really just need someone to take care of me. I have a ton of negative energy around me right now and I need to get away from it.

Do you have any tips for self-care?

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Learning How to Say “No”

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I’m a people pleaser and that’s not always a good thing. I hate disappointing people and nothing brings me more joy than helping someone in need. This people pleasing quality gets me in trouble a lot of the time because I make other people happy but don’t have time to chase my own happiness.

I’ve been struggling lately with this because sometimes people take advantage of how caring I am. I get myself in situations where I’m so busy taking care of other people that I don’t take care of myself. I end up exhausted, crying, and swearing that I’ll make a change and start saying “no”.

This weekend we had a family member ask me to do something for her and her family that went way too far. I want to help them but helping them would hurt my mental health in a way that would take too long to recover from. I don’t want to go into details but I had to have a serious conversation with Brett and luckily we both agreed that I had to say no.

Saying no is hard, especially when you love the person and want to help them. But sometimes you have to say no in order to protect yourself from damage. It feels selfish and wrong but it’s needed. I hate disappointing people and I know that this decision will hurt my relationship with the person. But this time I have to put myself first. I have to save myself from something that will damage me.

Taking care of yourself is more than just “self-care Sunday”. Taking care of yourself means protecting your mental health, your energy, and your well-being. It means learning to say “no” to things that will hurt you. Put yourself first, you’re worth it!

Do you have a hard time saying no to people? Any advice on getting over being a people pleaser?

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2019: Second Quarter Goals

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Setting goals for 2019

I always enjoy starting a new quarter. Doing quarterly goals really challenges me to accomplish my goal list in a timely fashion. I feel like I accomplish way more this way! I can’t believe that we are already a quarter of the way through 2019! I really enjoyed Q1 and am looking forward to a productive and fun Q2.

In case you are new to Life of Hayley, every quarter I set a few new goals for myself. I do this instead of your typical New Years Resolutions and find myself actually accomplishing the goals I set for myself instead of getting to December and realizing I never did anything. This also allows me to set goals throughout the year that are relevant and specific to the time of year.

I hope this inspires you to set some quarterly goals of your own!

  1. Create a self-care routine. I am so bad at self-care. It always feels like such a waste of time when I have a million other important things that need my attention. This quarter I want to focus on myself and creating a self-care routine that I enjoy.
  2. Learn two new recipes to add to our dinner rotation. I hate cooking and am usually happy to eat the same things over and over again. But I have been doing the same dinner rotations for over two years now and I really need to switch things up. I have several cookbooks and I love Pinterest so I’m sure it will be easy to find two new recipes to try!
  3. Start planning out our summer schedule. Summers are always crazy for us! Brett is a huge airshow fan and helps organize a couple in our area. Pretty much every weekend in the summer is spent at airshows. I also want to be able to spend time with family and friends too which has been difficult in the past. We have decided that I’m going to step away from the airshows this year and let Brett go to most of them alone. This means that we will have to carefully plan our time so we still have some weekends together.
  4. Finish my spring cleaning projects. I love organizing my house and spring feels like the perfect time to finish all the little projects that I have been putting off all year like organizing the storage room and cleaning out my car. I love the feeling of a clean and organized house! Plus, this is a great opportunity to re-decorate. You can find my spring cleaning list here.
  5. Get a quote to have our driveway re-done. We were going to build a new bathroom this year in our basement but decided to save money and do it next year. Instead of the building the bathroom we have decided to see how much it would be to have our driveway re-done. We bought our house in the winter so we weren’t really able to see how bad the driveway was. Hopefully getting it re-done is within our budget for the year!
  6. Go shopping and do a spring wardrobe refresh! I wear the same outfits to work every week and it’s gotten really old. I don’t feel great in what I have been wearing and my confidence suffers because of that. I think buying a couple of new pieces to add in will really help! Plus, I am hoping to shed a few more pounds and know that I will need new work pants soon.

I am looking forward to crushing these goals over the next few months! The weather is finally starting to warm up in Michigan and I can almost feel summer approaching! If you didn’t know, summer in Michigan is the most amazing thing ever (I am not biased at all). I can’t wait to spend my days at the lake surrounded by my family.

Do you have any goals that you want to accomplish this quarter?

You can check out my Q1 goals here!

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The Importance of Practicing Self-Care

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The Importance of Practicing Self-Care
Hello, my friends!

I have spent the past few weekends learning how to practice self-care. I have never given myself enough time to truly focus on making myself happy. I am always in a rush and when I do have any down time I like to spend it reading or relaxing on the couch. Relaxing is important but I never felt better afterward.

In one of my last posts I talked about my weight gain. What I didn’t really mention were all of the negative things that I brought upon myself because of the weight gain. I hated the way that I looked and the way my clothes fit. I thought punishing myself by squeezing into my old clothes would motivate me to lose weight. Instead I just felt terrible all of the time. My confidence, especially at work, was at an all time low.

A couple of weekends ago I finally had had enough. My mom, sister, and I drove to the outlet mall and I bought all new work pants and jeans. I had no idea how much of an impact those purchases would have on my self esteem. It felt good to not look like I was squished into my pants. I wouldn’t say I felt confident but I did feel better.

The next weekend I decided to spend an hour getting my haircut and eyebrows waxed. It felt so good. I have such thick hair and it grows at such a fast pace. I usually only get my haircut every six months but it was making me unhappy so I decided to change it. You still won’t catch me styling it in any way but at least I can brush it!

Spending a little time on self care is SO important and I am just now realizing that. I have never ever made the time to put myself first. I deserve to be happy and shouldn’t punish myself for the fact that I’ve gained weight.

Do you have any tips for practicing self-care? I’d love to hear them!

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash

I’ve Gained Weight

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I've Gained Weight

Hey guys,

I’m back with another post. This may be the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write but as you can tell from the title….

I’ve gained weight.

That one sentence makes me want to crawl back in bed and not come out for a very long time. I have a very negative relationship with food and weight that makes this topic hard for me to discuss.

The truth is that I am at the highest weight I have ever been. My clothes don’t fit, my skin is stretched out and uncomfortable, and I feel sluggish all the time. I have started my “weight loss journey” at least three times over the past 6 months but it’s hard and I quit because I don’t see any results. The number on the scale just keep growing and growing so I have stopped looking all together.

I can remember a time when stepping on the scale was the highlight of my day. The numbers kept dropping and I was so proud of myself. I thought being in the double digits would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. Luckily for me, I never quite made it to that extreme.

It’s been several years since I was at my lowest weight. I don’t remember consciously making the decision to lose weight all of those years ago. I was just anxious and didn’t ever feel hungry. I started college and gained the typical “freshman 15” which put me back at a healthy weight.

Over the years I have gained and lost weight. When I studied abroad in London I gained about 20 pounds which I was able to lose easily when I came home. I stayed at pretty much the same weight until I got married. I went a bit crazy during the honeymoon and ate whatever I wanted. Since coming back in early September I continued to eat anything and everything. It felt great not having to think about fitting myself into my wedding dress.

I did not realize how big I had gotten until my clothes stopped fitting me all together. When I look in the mirror I can see that I’ve gained weight but I had no idea how much I had actually gained. I went to the doctor and saw the number on the scale and had a small panic moment. I could not believe that this was my reality.

Now I can’t seem to lose the weight. I eat healthy and work out but the numbers on the scale keep getting bigger. I’m not sure if there’s a reason, like hormones or medication, or if I need to try something different. I usually shed a few pounds each summer because my activity level goes up and I eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.

This post isn’t about telling you that I have started some crazy new healthy lifestyle. In fact, I am still trying to find the best diet and workout routine that will work for me and my body.

I really just wanted to share my story as someone who has a negative relationship with food. I am trying my best to lose weight in a healthy way and stop any crash dieting that can be harmful to my body.  I know that this journey will take some time and I want to do what is best for me, both physically and mentally.

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for having a healthy lifestyle! And as always, thanks so much for reading!

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash