Anxiety Won’t Ruin My Life

Anxiety Won't Ruin My Life

I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately between my personal life, work, and my mental health. I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember and it seems to come in waves. Many days it’s smooth sailing and then other days I’m drowning in my worries. I’m normally able to function just fine but sometimes I can’t even make myself leave the house.

I think the trigger to these last couple of weeks of anxiety has been the fact that Brett took a new position at his job and has to travel a lot. I spent a week alone while he was in Atlanta and I barely slept the whole time he was gone. Every noise woke me up and had me searching all the rooms in our house for an intruder. I contemplated staying with my parents but I’m trying to be a “real” adult and suck it up.

I have come to the conclusion that anxiety is something I will just have to live with. It’s not always easy but I know I’m far better off than many others who suffer. I won’t let anxiety ruin my life or keep me from doing the things I want to do. I almost let my anxiety keep me from studying abroad and that would have been a terrible decision.

Sometimes you just have to throw yourself outside of your comfort zone and hope for the best. I’ve found that standing up to my fears has made me much stronger.

How do you cope with anxiety?

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An Honest Life Update

Anxiety, goodnight
Hello, hello

I can’t sleep so I thought I’d hop on the blog and talk about what’s keeping me awake.

For starters, Brett is off on a boy’s trip to Oregon with his friends and it’s storming in Michigan. He’s tracking the weather from his trip but I’m still missing his constant stream of commentary every time it thunders. I’m having a really hard time sleeping without him even though I am enjoying having all the blankets to myself.

I’m also having some extreme anxiety about work. We are very understaffed at work which has lead me to working many long hours. I am fine putting in a lot of work because I know I am making an impact on our client’s lives but lately I cannot seem to catch up. The work keeps on piling up and even though I am working at a crazy fast pace I still can’t get everything done.

I am a perfectionist which is why I am good at my job. I like to take my time and make sure that everything is correct which is hard to do when I am cramming so many tasks into each day. I keep getting angry at myself that I can’t get more work done. I am physically and mentally exhausted by the time I walk to my car at the end of the day.

Today I also found out that I made a huge mistake back in July of 2017. Everyone keeps telling me that it’ll be okay but the problem is that I can’t even remember making the mistake. I’ve been so busy, angry, and frustrated that I haven’t had the time to dwell on anything.

So now I’m sitting in bed thinking about work and wishing that I had brought home my work laptop so I could get a jumpstart on my to-do list for tomorrow.

Does anyone know the definition of work-life balance? Because clearly I do not.

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be better. I want to point out that I do love my job. It’s just busy season and I am still covering a maternity leave. It will get better. I will survive. My team is amazing and I am grateful for this job.

Wish me luck as I try to get some sleep tonight.

Goodnight, my friends! Let me know if you have any tips for falling asleep or anxiety.

 

Lifestyle Blog, Life of Hayley

 

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