It’s been over a month since my last migraine update and honestly not much has changed.

I saw my primary care doctor about 3 weeks ago and she referred me to a new neurologist at the other hospital in my town. There are two hospitals where I live and you either go to one or the other for everything health related not both. I have always gone to one but my doctor recommended that I try the other.

So, she sent the referral to my neurologist who had his medical assistant call me. Apparently, he can choose not to discharge me from his care if he feels that he can still help me. The MA asked me for the reason I wanted to change doctors and I was really honest with her. 1. I have been seeing him for over five years and we have only tried two treatment options and neither worked. 2. I want a second opinion.

The MA was supposed to call me back but that was over two weeks ago. I called yesterday for an update and he hasn’t even looked at my file yet. I tried to explain my frustration and pain but I really felt like it fell on deaf ears. To make matters worse, the new neurologist I wanted to see has switched to my current neurologist’s practice which will make the switch even harder. Apparently it’s rare that they will allow you to switch neurologists within the same practice and it sounds like that will be the case for me.

Yesterday I got off the phone and cried. It’s so discouraging to feel like you are headed in the right direction one second and then back at the beginning the next. This journey has not been easy and I’m sick of pretending like it has. I pretend everyday that things are okay and I feel fine. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing all of the things I am doing. I try to put on this brave face but anytime someone asks me how I am feeling I fall apart.

Once again I am faced with a couple of options. The first is that I go back to my neurologist and try to talk him. I don’t think that this will be happening. The second is to find another neurologist at the other practice and see if he/she is accepting new patients. The third option is to finally make an appointment at the University of Michigan Neurosciences which I have been trying to avoid because of the distance and potential cost.

I have not had a headache free day at all in 2018 and that makes me angry. I’m not a neurologist and I have done everything that I can on my own to fix myself. I need a professional’s help and that professional will not be my current neurologist. I also suck at confrontation and am having a hard time advocating for myself. Hopefully if I do have to go back to my neurologist I can find a patient advocate to help me.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with my journey to a pain-free life. It hasn’t been easy and I doubt it will be easy at any point. I am just hoping that somewhere down the line I can find a solution that will work for me. I’m trying not to give up hope. I am not currently taking any medication at all besides still overusing ibprofen in order to live a “normal” life.

Thanks for reading!

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