Everyday I’m worried about when I will have my next migraine. I always have pain medication on hand and an excuse at the tip of my tongue to leave early. I avoid making plans outside of work and family obligations because I never know how I will feel on that day. I’ve let my fear of pain control my life for years and the anxiety that comes along with this fear holds me back from doing what I love to do.
My migraines are genetic and I can go on and on about all of the reasons why I may never be completely pain free. My current neurologist is a headache specialist. He’s a great guy who wants to help me live my best life. But he doesn’t have all the answers. He’s willing to try new things in hopes of them working but a lot of it is up to me.
It was up to me to realize that I was taking too much ibuprofen. It was up to me to realize that I wasn’t fueling my body properly. It was up to me to realize that I was feeling sorry for myself and needed to change.
Last summer I read Grain Brain by David Perlmutter which was recommended to me by my physical therapist. I learned about gluten, carbs, and sugar and how they interact with our brains. I wanted to try an elimination diet but it seemed like too much work at the time.
This summer I’m willing to do anything it takes to live a pain-free life. I’ve changed my lifestyle to balance the amount of gluten, carbs, and sugars I am eating. I’ve made my health a priority.
It never feels like enough though. I’m on day 3 of a debilitating migraine right now. I’ve had to leave work early and sit in the dark with ice packs for hours at a time. I’ve had to miss meetings and time with my family. I’ve been angry at my messed up brain for constantly hurting. I’ve told myself that I’m a terrible employee and co-worker because I can’t stand being in the office when I feel like this.
I’m also having trouble sleeping again. I can stay up pretty much all night and have gotten used to functioning on very few hours of sleep. I feel like a zombie.My neurologist prescribed me a medication to help me sleep since I was going days without sleeping for more then a couple of hours. He also prescribed me a pain medication for when I have migraines.
I didn’t like the sleeping pills. I was dead asleep within an hour on the couch. Brett had to help me get to bed. I don’t like not knowing what’s going on and feeling helpless. The pain medication didn’t help and I don’t plan on taking it again. I ended up being sick to my stomach while on it.
I’ve felt pretty angry about my migraine situation lately but I’m trying to do my best to take care of myself. Whatever that means. I went 5 days without a migraine when I first started the elimination diet which is a long period of time for me.
Hopefully I will have a positive migraine update for you soon!
Life of Hayley 
This sounds awful, hope you feel better soon and find something that keeps the migraines away!
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Thanks you! ‘ll keep fighting until I find something that works. 🙂
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Sending you love! Hope you find something that brings you relief ❤
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Thank you so much! ❤
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This sucks. I hate pain. On my end, things have been looking better. My headaches were caused by tension and I m on topamax. I am finding that talking to ppl abt how i am feeling has been more helpful than meds but meds have been helpful in cases when my brain goes out of control with thoughts. But I have improved a lot compared to 4 months ago. From pain everyday to now once in a while. The cycle of thoughts that was creating pain over and over again is broken. I dont think abt my pain because thinking abt it all the time was creating more pain for me too because it was there all the time. I needed a distraction, something completely different to think about and i found a few things. Pain continued but it slowly phased out. My head hurts once in a while bu t not like before and I am happier now. I hope u find some measure too. M still on meds but mostly m trying to indulge in things tht distract me from my pain. Sometimes its not tht its too much pain but tht its bn there for so long tht it feels too much even if its small so we get stuck in a cycle. Life feels shit then. I hope it gets better for u
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I’m so glad topamax is working for you! I really wish that I would have had good results from it. Hopefully your pain will continue to get better. You are right though, it’s better not to think about the pain. I’m always so paranoid about getting a migraine that I’m constantly thinking about and dreading it. I’ll try to find something else to focus on and hopefully that will help!
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Yes focus is the main thing that helped me lessen my pain. Because I was always thinking abt it. When i was in pain i was thinking abt it and when I was not in pain I was thinking abt how I was not in pain. My mind was always jst focused ob my head thas all. I felt no joy at all. Nothing made me happy. I had to get out of this cycle and for me, going back to work, taking a vacation and trying out new things i was scared of and basically talking abt things as they arise what got my headache out of me. I feel that the initial problem wasn’t big but it was pain that eventually continued to create more pain. Self-inflicted pain…mostly thoughts related to pain. Worrying about pain, worrying about not being able to work, worrying abt not being normal, worrying abt never getting better, worrying abt wayyyyyy too many things. I believe this was the cause of my pain. Worry upon worry upon worry.
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Oh Hayley, I am so sorry that you are still going through all these migraines. 5 days is a good amount of time though– I hope the elimination diet keeps working & you can eventually live a pain free life! ♡
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Thank you! I’m hoping it will work too! 🙂
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